Am I good enough?

I was watching a basketball game yesterday and the person sitting next to me made a comment on a particular player. “That guy looks so scared on court.” He said. I turned to look at the guy and indeed he looked so uptight, scared, nervous and timid. The whole scenario left me thinking what could possibly be going on in his mind at that moment.

Fear.

Fear is a strange thing that holds to many people in the world.

From personal experience, I must admit i've been afraid all my life. Of being in big houses all by myself, of trying out new restaurants, afraid of taking risks, I am such a laid back version of myself because I'm afraid of putting myself out there.

I've had fear for so long that I can easily recognize a person that is afraid. The fear, the intimidation, the lack of self confidence, is just so familiar to me.

In children, fear is understandable and can be a good thing. In its right amounts, It creates discipline. But for adults, fear makes us lose ourselves.

The state of mind when you're not sure what your strengths are anymore. Fear will have a person who is extremely good at something doubt their entire journey.

When I looked at the guy they were talking about. It reminded me of myself.

I didn’t start playing basketball until I was 18/19, but before that, I had huge admiration for the game. I even tried playing but it was such a sad thing to watch.

When I started, I realized there were much younger 16 year olds who played so much better than I did. The humiliation that brought me inside me is a story for another day.

To have started serious basketball initiation at such an adult age, then struggle to get on the team list, then struggle to get off the bench. Fear was with me the whole time.

I was questioning myself if I was good enough. Was I doing enough? Is it even worth it? Isn't it too late for me to learn the game? I was afraid even on the days when my coach was just calling me to give a good comment.

Even as of today, when i see younger people doing things i couldn’t do when i was their age. It's such a challenging sight.

Well, how am I coping?

Here’s a few tips that are getting me through days of fear and the anxiety and fear of the unknown. And I hope they help you have a better healing journey.

• Acknowledge that you are afraid.

• Ask yourself, how determined are you towards achieving your goal? Is fear going to be the reason you quit? Exactly, then go ahead and do it.

• Do self reflection sessions to ask yourself why you're afraid. For example, I have a phobia for swimming. (Because i watched many movies where sharks eat people while they’re in water, oh and others drown in pools too😅) silly, right! You don’t want to have such silly reasons why you didn't pursue your dream career.

• Show up anyway, you’re alive and thriving, because you pushed yourself until this very point.

• Talk about your fears with your support system, they see you even on days when you don’t recognise yourself.

• Ask yourself, what’s the best way to live? To stay and always wonder what's on the other side of fear or to actually take a chance on yourself.

• If you can, read self help books. There’s so much we can do to conquer that fear, but we just don’t know yet.

• Recite mantras that build you up. I am good enough, I can do this, I am capable of accomplishing everything I set my mind to, etc.

• Be brave, fear is not cute.

If there’s anything life has taught me, it's that, even the people we admire, our role models, the superstars etc, they've all been through or still are experiencing everything we feel. Fear, anxiety, depression, imposter syndrome, you name it.

I know people who have quit at the 1st encounter of a challenge because they were afraid.

What actually makes the difference is showing up and conquering your fears. To acknowledge that yes, this part of my life makes me timid, anxious but I'm showing up to do the best I can because I genuinely love to do this.

That is admirable and is all that matters.